101 Emotions
Like the phoenix, this is about the power of rising — no matter how many times your spirit is crushed.
· Safety is the feeling of notbeing under threat.
· Its not just nothing bad ishappening its my body believing Imallowed to relax.
· For me, safety often feelsquiet and unfamiliar at first.
· Safety is my nervous systemsgreen light.
· It allows:
o rest and repair
o clearer thinking
o connection without scanning fordanger
o creativity and play
· Safety is what makes healingpossible because my body can finallystop surviving.
· In my body:
o shoulders drop, jaw unclenches
o breath slows, belly softens
o warmth, heaviness, sleepiness
o appetite returns
o less startle response
· In my mind:
o I dont have to defend myselfright now.
o I can take my time.
o less looping, less rehearsing
· In my behaviour:
o I stop over-explaining
o I can say no without panic
o I can focus, finish tasks, andenjoy small things
o I reach out because I want to,not because Im desperate
· Predictability: clear plans,clear expectations
· Being believed and treated withbasic respect
· Consent and choice (I can optout)
· Privacy and control over accessto me
· A calm environment: light,sound, clutter, pace
· People who repair: theyapologise, clarify, return, and follow through
· Unpredictability, mixedmessages, shifting rules
· Being dismissed, blamed, ormocked
· Coercive control dynamics
· High-conflict communication
· Systems that hold power withoutaccountability
· Being forced to engage when Imalready dysregulated
· Relief: relief is the release after stress; safety is the ongoing statethat can follow.
· Calm: calm is a feeling; safety is the condition that makes calmpossible.
· Numbness: numbness is shutdown; safety is presence.
· Avoidance: avoiding can look like safety, but its often fear-driven.
· Silence: silence can be peaceful or it can be the quiet before.
· Control: control can reduce anxiety, but safety is deeper than controllingeverything.
· People-pleasing: compliance can reduce conflict, but its not real safety.
· What I need:
o choice, time, and space
o consistency (words matchactions)
o support that doesnt come withstrings
o routines that stabilise my body
o permission to go slow
· Boundaries that protectsafety:
o I dont stay in conversationsthat escalate or punish me
o I dont explain myself to peoplecommitted to misunderstanding
o I dont trade my nervous systemfor someone elses comfort
· What helps me in the moment(0 minutes):
1. Orient: look around and name 5neutral things I can see.
2. Feel contact: feet on floor,back on chair, hand on chest.
3. Longer exhale than inhale.
4. One sentence: Right now, inthis moment, I am safe enough.
· What helps me the same day(15 minutes):
1. Reduce inputs: dim lights,reduce noise, fewer tabs/decisions.
2. Do one safe routine: tea,shower, tidy corner, slow walk.
3. Choose one supportiveconnection (text a safe person, not a triggering one).
· What helps me longer term:
o build a safety menu: places,people, routines, sensory supports
o practise boundaries early(before Im flooded)
o track patterns: what reliablydestabilises me
o build self-trust so I dontabandon myself to keep peace
o create practical safety plansfor repeat situations
· Sometimes safety feelsuncomfortable because my body is used to bracing.
· If I feel restless, suspicious,or numb in safety, thats not failure itsmy nervous system learning.
· Vignette ideas:
o The first time I noticed mybody unclench.
o A moment I realised safe isnt aplace its a felt sense.
· Safety often sits near: Relief, Calm, Hope, Self-trust, Acceptance
· Safety is often threatenedby: Fear, Anxiety, Hypervigilance, Powerlessness
· Tools that support me here: orienting, sensory supports, boundaries, safe-person list, routines
· Im not a therapist. Im sharingmy lived experience and what Ive learned along the way because the more we talk about theseexperiences and emotions honestly, the more chance we have of protecting futuregenerations.
· Read more about this projecthere: About 101 Emotions (link)