101 Emotions
Like the phoenix, this is about the power of rising — no matter how many times your spirit is crushed.
· Anger is the heat that riseswhen something feels wrong, unfair, unsafe, or disrespectful.
· Sometimes its loud and obvious.Sometimes its quiet and controlled butits still there.
· For me, anger isnt bad. Itsinformation. Its a signal that a line has been crossed.
· Anger tries to protect me.
· It shows me where my boundariesare especially the ones I was trained toignore.
· It gives me energy to act,speak, leave, or stop something.
· When Ive been silenced orcontrolled, anger can be the part of me that refuses to disappear.
· In my body:
o Heat in my face/chest, clenchedjaw, tight shoulders
o Fast heartbeat, shallowbreathing
o Restlessness, pacing, shaking,pressure in my hands
o Headaches, stomach tightness
· In my mind:
o Thats not okay thoughts
o Replaying what happened,imagining what I should have said
o Black-and-white urgency (fix itnow / stop it now)
o A strong need for justice,clarity, accountability
· In my behaviour:
o Snapping, sharp tone, cuttingwords
o Withdrawing to avoid exploding
o Over-explaining, arguing,trying to prove reality
o Sudden no energy (cancelling,blocking, leaving)
· Being lied to, manipulated, orgaslit
· Being rushed, pressured, orcornered into decisions
· Having my boundaries ignored(especially body autonomy)
· Being treated like Imoverreacting, too sensitive, or crazy
· Injustice in systems (beingdismissed, not believed, forced to prove harm)
· Someone smiling while doingsomething that benefits them and harms me
· Seeing harm minimised ornormalised
· Rage: rage is anger that has nowhere safe to go; anger is the signalbefore it becomes a firestorm.
· Anxiety: sometimes anger is what I feel when fear has been running the showfor too long.
· Overwhelm: anger can show up when Im overloaded and out of capacity.
· Strength: anger can look like confidence, but sometimes its actually painasking to be seen.
· What I need:
o A clear boundary andfollow-through
o Space to cool down before Ispeak
o To be believed, respected, andtreated as a full human
o Choice and control over my bodyand time
o Truth not performance, not spin
· What has to stop / what Iwont do:
o I wont negotiate my consent
o I wont accept help that comeswith control
o I wont keep explaining realityto people who benefit from pretending its not real
o I wont stay in conversationsthat turn into punishment
· What helps me in the moment(0 minutes):
1. Name it: Im angry. (No shame,no story.)
2. Create space: step away, pausethe conversation, stop replying.
3. Regulate my body first: slowexhale, unclench jaw, drop shoulders.
4. Grounding: cold water, feet onfloor, hold something heavy.
5. Give anger a safe outlet:scribble, tear paper, stomp, shake-out, brisk walk.
· What helps me the same day(5 minutes):
1. Write the boundary: What linewas crossed?
2. Decide the consequence: Whatwill I do if it happens again?
3. Draft a short script (not anessay): This doesnt work for me. Im not available for that.
4. Talk to a safe person whodoesnt minimise it.
· What helps me longer term:
o Practice boundaries early(before anger becomes rage)
o Learn my early warning signs(tight jaw, speed, urgency)
o Build a life with fewer peoplewho benefit from my silence
o Create systems that reducerepeated exposure to the same harm
· If my anger is constant,escalating, or turning into urges to harm myself or someone else, I treat thatas a sign I need more support than a blog post can give.
· Vignette ideas:
o The moment I realised my angerwasnt too much it was accurate.
o The moment I stopped explainingand simply enforced the boundary.
· When I feel anger, I oftenalso feel: Fear, Shame, Grief, Feeling overwhelmed,Anxiety
· Tools that support me here: Grounding techniques, How I calm my nervous system, Boundaryscripts, Journaling prompts for anger
· Im not a therapist. Im sharingmy lived experience and what Ive learned along the way because the more we talk about theseexperiences and emotions honestly, the more chance we have of protecting futuregenerations.
· Read more about this projecthere: About 101 Emotions (link)