101 Emotions
Like the phoenix, this is about the power of rising — no matter how many times your spirit is crushed.
· Loneliness isn’t just being bymyself. It’s the feeling of being unmet.
· It can happen in a room full ofpeople.
· For me, loneliness often feelslike being unseen, unheard, or like I don’t have a safe place to land.
· Loneliness points to a realneed: connection, belonging, and being known.
· It reminds me that humansaren’t built to carry everything alone.
· Sometimes it’s also a signalthat I’m in an environment where I have to mask, perform, or stay guarded.
· In my body:
o Heavy chest, hollow stomach,tired limbs
o A sinking or aching feeling
o Restlessness, or ashutdown/freeze feeling
· In my mind:
o “No one gets it.” “I’m on myown.”
o Comparing my life to otherpeople’s closeness
o Remembering people I’ve lost(or never really had)
· In my behaviour:
o Withdrawing, going quiet,cancelling plans
o Scrolling to feel “near” peoplebut ending up emptier
o Over-sharing too fast becauseI’m starving for connection
o Or the opposite: not sharing atall because it doesn’t feel safe
· Being around people who don’tlisten, minimise, or rush me
· Being misunderstood (especiallywhen I’m already tired)
· Life admin, systems, andprocesses that make me feel like a number
· Milestones, holidays, and“family” seasons
· Times when I’m carrying toomuch and don’t have a safe witness
· Social loneliness: I don’t have enough people/time/regular contact.
· Emotional loneliness: I have people, but I can’t be fully real with them.
· For me, emotional loneliness isthe sharper one.
· Depression: depression is heavier and more global; loneliness is oftenspecifically about connection.
· Numbness: numbness is shutdown; loneliness still aches.
· Independence: independence is choice; loneliness is disconnection.
· What I need:
o One safe connection (not tenshallow ones)
o Consistency more than intensity
o To be able to speak withoutbeing corrected, fixed, or judged
o Community that doesn’t requireperformance
· What has to stop / what Iwon’t do:
o I won’t chase closeness frompeople who only offer crumbs
o I won’t confuse attention withcare
o I won’t punish myself forneeding connection
· What helps me in the moment(0–5 minutes):
1. Name it: “This is loneliness.I’m not broken — I’m needing connection.”
2. Hand on chest + slow exhale(bring my body out of abandonment mode).
3. One tiny reach: send a simplemessage to a safe person (no big explanation).
4. If no one is safe right now:write to myself like I’m someone I care about.
· What helps me the same day(5–60 minutes):
1. Choose “real” contact overscrolling (even one voice note, one coffee, one walk).
2. Do something that createswarmth in my environment (music, light, shower, tidy one corner).
3. Journal: “What kind ofconnection am I actually craving?”
4. Gentle body regulation (walk,stretch) so loneliness doesn’t turn into panic.
· What helps me longer term:
o Build a small circle of safepeople (quality over quantity)
o Join spaces based on sharedvalues/interests (not trauma bonding)
o Practice asking for what I needin small, specific ways
o Learn my “red flags” for unsafeconnection (minimising, control, guilt)
· If loneliness becomes constantor starts to feel like I’m disappearing, I treat it as a serious signal — notsomething to tough out.
· Sometimes the most caring thingis to reach for professional support or structured community.
· Vignette ideas:
o A time I felt lonely incompany, and what that taught me.
o A time I chose one safe personinstead of a crowd.
· Loneliness often sits near: Sadness, Grief, Shame, Anxiety
· Loneliness can trigger: Numbness, Despair, Anger, Feeling overwhelmed
· Tools that support me here: Safe-connection list, Boundary scripts, Grounding, “How I ask forsupport”
· I’m not a therapist. I’msharing my lived experience and what I’ve learned along the way — because themore we talk about these experiences and emotions honestly, the more chance wehave of protecting future generations.
· Read more about this projecthere: About 101 Emotions (link)